A Caregiver's guide to Alzheimer's

A caregiver’s guide to Alzheimer’s

1.

When the stranger first arrives

you will go deaf and blind

rather than accept

this twin that follows

close as a double exposure blurring

the edges of your loved one’s

life.  She may even ask you 

if there is someone behind 

her. But like a two year old

playing hide and seek you will

cover your eyes and say no, believing

that if you refuse to see it, it will not

find you.  Forgive

yourself

2.

for soon enough the shadow will gain substance

and lumber after your loved one

like a sloppy drunk that will not leave 

the party.  Evasive action is usual and

futile, followed by

anger, for which you will be sorry

one day.

3.

At length the illness will become

a permanent boarder requiring

accommodation – extra room

set aside in every part

of the day.  At table

you’ll make a place for both

the loved one and the illness.

At night you will pray

for both, though what you pray for

is your burden

to carry

solely.

4.

In the end

there will be one again, but not the one
you knew.  The loved one will have been
possessed completely by the stranger. 
Only the deus ex machina of death

can part them now. 

5.

Waiting with the stranger

at the terminus, peering into the dark

tunnel for any approaching light

you will feel completely

alone.

6.

When the transport comes

at last, the suffocating shadow will step away

and memory will restore the singular person

your loved one was, leaving you trying

to remember.  For if you forget

any small thing – today’s date or

mayonnaise at the store –

you’ll start looking

over your shoulder, wondering

if you are being

followed now too.