Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Worst parenting moments #1: Rise and Shine!



Enough with all the seriousness and election fever! Here, for your amusement (at my expense, of course), is the first in what I know will be an ongoing (and on and on and on) series of my worst parenting moments.

First let me say that we don't drink much here at casa d'elizabeth. We both have serious alcoholics in our families, and by serious I mean falling-down, black-out, puke-on-yourself everyday alcoholics, not those fun lost-weekend party ones. The husband doesn't drink at all because of his blood condition. I have the occasional social or stress-induced drink. So last night I was exhausted and frazzled and, since we didn't have anything else to drink, I made myself a gin and tonic with some old, flat tonic I'd scrounged from way back in the fridge. Being utterly fizzless and limeless, it wasn't the best G & T I'd ever had, so I sipped at it without much enthusiasm. By the end of the evening, I'd only drunk half of it. Before I went to bed, I cleared my dishes, putting them by the sink as usual.

So this morning, I came downstairs to find my autistic daughter sitting at the breakfast table with my melted gin and tonic in her hand. To her it must have looked just like a glass of water set out just for her convenience. I snatched it away and dumped it in the sink. It looked as if she'd only had a sip or two, just enough to give her a really nice mellow feeling before going off to school.

What can I say? My great granddaddy was a moonshiner (and a revenuer, but that's another story). You might be a redneck if ... your kids start their day with a slug of gin. These are the moments - once they're skated past safely - that make me proud.

9 comments:

mrpeenee said...

Personally, there were plenty of mornings headed off to school when a stiff belt would have helped. But vodka is probably a better idea, we wouldn't want teacher to smell it on our breath, would we?

sageweb said...

Oh how funny. She will be the only one in school with a nice fresh scent of gin.

yellowdog granny said...

i can see her about 10:30 face down on her desk..haha..
yah, my family was full of very serious drunks..me too..11-9 will be 18 years...I'll have a dublin dr pepper to celebrate.

Anonymous said...

What’s everyone doing for safety precautions for Halloween? My husband came across an article (http://i-newswire.com/pr220892.html) with some info about background checking neighbors. I thought that may be a little overboard but it had some other good suggestions for some precautions I haven’t thought about. Last year my youngest son came down with a massive fever after Halloween. I almost thought about just taking the kids to our church’s fall festival this year instead of door-to-door to prevent that from happening again. I don’t know yet. What’s your advice? Am I over-reacted or just being a concerned mom?

Elizabeth said...

Mr. P - Her teacher's notes said she was in a really happy mood today. Hmm.... I'll remember that tip about the vodka!

Sage - Yeah, her special perfume, Eau d'booze!

Granny - When you see someone's life ravaged by drink, it kinda takes the mystique and fun out of it. Congrats on the 18 years!

Elizabeth said...

Anonymous - I think it all depends on your neighborhood. I go very much with my gut on things like this. I know most of the people on our street so it seems comfortable, safe, and fun. But if I felt suspicious of someone I would absolutely not allow my kids to go to that house. Of course I go with my kids and look over their candy. So I say, trust your instincts and have fun!

Miss Janey said...

Can you imagine the parent/teacher conference the might have ensued???

a thousand shades of twilight said...

Oh, but gin is just so damn irresistible, isn't it? I think you should be proud - letting your children drink is just very, well, chic and European. Start 'em early, I say and they're less likely to be binge drinkers...
;)

Elizabeth said...

Miss J - I know!!! You can't just laugh that one off, can you?

Mr. Twilight - (Like your new icon!) Not even the French start their kids on the hard stuff though!