Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Shamed into full disclosure

From Dill Pixels wonderful flickr stream.

I've been shamed by I need more cowbell and her prodigal-daughter blog update, to write a more complete update myself. Yeah, it really was an awful winter, but .... there was, of course, more going on below the shitty frozen surface of this long and shitty winter.

1. My husband
It's almost two years since my husband's last surgery and (better late than never!) I think I am finally getting "over" it. What that means is that I've finally incorporating into my life the reality that my husband has an incurable, life-threatening, condition instead of (as I had thought before) a one-time weird clotting condition that would be taken care of by surgery and blood thinners.

It's not an easy thing to accept. I worry whenever he's gone, whether it's out of town on a business trip, or out of the house for work. The only time I don't worry is when he's right next to me, where I can keep an eye on him, save him if he needs saving. Because my brilliant prize-winning husband is utterly incapable of taking care of himself. Seriously. This is the guy whose response to massive debilitating chest pain (from his swollen-to-the-point-of-bursting veins) is to decide to wait it out, hope it goes away, and not tell anyone. Good plan Einstein.

2. My novel
I love writing. It's easy for me and I'm good at it, and because of that, I write really good first drafts. I've even been lucky enough to have a couple of those first drafts (of short stories) published. So when I wrote my novel, part of me really truly thought that I could write it, send it in, and get it published too. But novels are big messy things and, unfortunately, I have to revise it. And revise it. And revise it. Revising isn't easy work and I don't like it because I'm not (yet) good at it. I would rather pull my toenails out one by one than revise my own work. I would rather clean house than revise my own work. And let's just say that my house is getting cleaned in places that have never been cleaned in the entire eight years that we've lived here.

But, with the help and advice of some very good readers and friends, I am slowly, painfully, dragging myself (kicking, screaming, whining, and hating every minute of it) through a real and deep revision. So you can see why sitting down to the computer to write even a blog entry might send me running for the mop, or the TV remote.

Anyway, those are my excuses for neglecting you. Oh, and did I mention that the weather was really really crappy?


ayem8y said...

Aww poor hubby. He’s lucky to have a Super Mom for his wife. Revisions? I thought that was what an editor was for? Oh well after the painful editing job on your wildly successful forthcoming novel you can afford to hire and editor/revisionist to do that kind of work while you drop by to pick up the pages for approval.

I think you should move down south to be near family and me and then you want freeze during the winters and hubby’s blood will be thinned naturally by the process and by the summer heat. Problem solved!

I can stand heat but the cold, the cold is unbearable.

jason said...

ditto to all of what Ayem8y says!


at least you have been published..i have 1/2 or 1/3 or 1/4 startd books all over the place..sigh*

Elizabeth said...

ayem8y & Jason - Thanks boys. I do so wish I could move South where the weather is warmer, you're only a day's drive from the beach, and all my Southern-gothically crazy relatives live.

But sadly, the husband's job is here and the kids lives are here, so I am here for and with them because they are home for me.

YDG- Yeah, you gotta finish those suckers to get them published. It's a bitch, isn't it?

L said...

oh fudge!
i just wrote a long comment and then it timed out and i lost everything...

in sum:
i feel ya, being a born genius, self-appointed slacker, myself.

to boot, i'm also suddenly cleaning like there's no tomorrow. the floor has made its first appearance in over 6 months...gasp.

and: i bet at least R & S are happy/semi-confused by the change...

You'll do it! Bon courage mon amie!

Margaret Benbow said...

You can do it! Just keep going faithfully back to the revisions and pushing them forward (even half an hour a day) and sooner than you think, the work WILL be done. Mission Accomplished!

Elizabeth said...

L & Margaret - Thanks for the encouragement. And I will do it, if only because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't put my all into it.

Anne Watkins said...

I don't like this news about your husband.
And I completely understand your vigilance on his behalf. Nothing like waking up in the morning and finding we are all still here. Thank you, IHOP J-sus.

Revisions are completely and utterly painful - I am with you. But they sometimes stretch us to beyond what we thought was possible - let's hope for that result this time!


more cowbell said...

you can do it. seriously. and yeah, editing your own work sucks ass.