Coached by the tart-tongued Yellow-dog granny, I'm practicing my new identity as Tough Love Mama:
"Sit, motherfucker. Stay!" Ok, got that one, and i can't wait to see my husband's face when I bark it out at him! I could smack him back down into the chair when I do, but I'm afraid he might clot or bleed or something. The next YDG line, "I don't look good in black," has a nice hint of dire things possibly ahead. But i think my favorite is, "I hope my next husband takes better care of himself!" So many possible dark threats in it.
Anyway, Knucklehead has a big test tomorrow to see if the shunt that was put in five years ago is still open. If it is, I'll breathe a ginormous sigh of relief because then it's becomes a matter of bleeding him and testing and retesting to see if they can manage it with phlebotomy. If not, then they'll probably have to add a second blood thinner to his daily meds, (He's been on Coumadin for five years) which has some risks, but not as many as cutting him wide open again. So here's hoping all goes well and that soon I'll be back chit chatting with all of y'all. X0X0X0 to all of you. got to go practice my lines some more................ ("Sit motherfucker! Stay!")
17 comments:
Next husband?! To funny! Everything wiil be OK! If the doctor comes out and tells you any thing different give him/her the whole motherfucker speech! That should do it!
Don't have to tell you but I will anyway - thoughts and prayers are with you guys. And a gentle hug to the Knucklehead because despite his stupidity (I was going to say carelessness but....) he's probably a scared right now and needs that... not that I doubt for a minute he isn't getting plenty but another one never hurt.
Sit your ass down before I knock you into another time zone.
Always works for me..
Good luck kiddo!
For some reason I can't imagine you saying those words at all. Funny how we have a vision of someone through their blog. But I am still thinking of you and your family, I am sure not just you and your husband are having a tough time but the kids all need a big hug now too. So big hugs to everyone. Carefullwith the hubby!
as an added bonus, you can promise him if he sits and stays you'll roll over for him...just saying...
i've never been called tart-tongued before..i kinda like it...better than my west, texas nickname 'tacky jacky'..
Thank goodness you have a sense of humor!
Doh! Next husband --- perfect. That'll make him fly right. It's the testosterone. It clouds the judgement.
You go girl. Channel that inner bitch.
Sage, honey, you're completely right. I wouldn't actually say "Sit, motherfucker, stay!" to him. There are kids with tender ears around. But I sure do feel like saying it......
My love to all of you. I hope things go smoothly today. My sparkly treasure box of all good thoughts is aimed in your direction. I salute your health, happiness, prosperity, and great love.
If you need any more snappy sayings, "I'll kick you so hard you be wearing your ass for earmuffs" is always good, and my fathers response to any backtalk was always, "If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head."
Good luck with getting the husband to behave. I'm thinking about you.
Ha, I like the ass-earmuffs one. Or would they be assmuffs ...
Ooo, those are good ones.
*Big, Big, Huuuuuuge Hugs*
I wish I had something terribly wise, or terribly funny to say, but I don't.
If you need to blow off steam, or bitch or cry, email me (outinthemiddleofidaho@gmail.com) and I'll send you my number.
Okay, I just love the next husband line.
I hope the testing went well.
also before you go taking any husbandly advice from me...remember i haven't had a husband since 1974...and I shot him....just saying..
Ha!!!
D-man, Just a heads up. I emailed you last night (to vent) but I often end up in the junk mail, first time around.
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