Wednesday, March 26, 2008
(photo from London SLR)
This afternoon my husband said casually, "Here's my living will. I'll put it in the secretary." I stopped what I was doing, and we looked at each other for a long moment. Then he turned away, back to his afternoon's work of putting "things in order." We haven't talked about it, but of course, we both know that any time you go under the knife, even for a simple procedure, there's a chance you'll die. And this procedure is by no means simple. He does have a world-class surgeon, but still.....
I'm pretty much a basket case right now, just want to hide my head and make it all go away. Which is not like me. Usually I'm a person who rises to a challenge. I guess I'm letting myself fall apart a bit now, while my husband is still his calm, efficient, functional self. Because on Tuesday morning, after they roll him away into the OR, it's going to be me, all alone, waiting, and I'll have to pull it together and be strong for a long time.